


Scared Potter? It looks good on you

by Mysecretscreenname



Series: 30dayOTPchallenge [10]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Cute, Draco Is a Jerk, Fluff, M/M, but a cute jerk, duh - Freeform, so we forgive him
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2017-12-29
Packaged: 2018-12-26 01:24:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,401
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12048417
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mysecretscreenname/pseuds/Mysecretscreenname
Summary: Im pretty sure this has been done a thousand times before, but here is my epic Drarry flirt off. These pick up lines are so dodgy and terrible and I am ashamed but enjoy.





	1. Chapter 1

Draco paced up and down the slytherin common room. "Come on guys think, we need new and improved ways of annoying Potter. He seems to be immune to our latest attacks so we need a new strategy."   
"Draco you sound like we are going to war" "Exactly Pans THIS IS WAR"   
"Draco honey calm down"  
"Only if we get a new tactic to annoy Potter"   
"How about I flirt with him then"   
Draco stopped pacing and looked over at Pansy. "That is actually quite a good idea. Starting tomorrow implement plan Pansy flirt with Potter to unnerve him" 

Draco watched in shock at the scene before him. It had started so well. Potter and his weird groupies had all been walking to whatever class they had (Draco knew it was transfiguration but admitting to himself he knew that was strictly off limits) and Pansy had sashayed up to him "Hey Potter, is that your wand in your pocket or are you just happy to see me"   
But instead of the embarrassed and horrified reaction Draco had been expecting, Potter just kept walking, and as they got further down the corridor, Draco was sure he could hear snickering. Pansy pulled Draco down the corridor as he seethed. "We will discuss this later Dray, in the mean time calm down" 

Draco was back to pacing  
"Why didn't that work Pans, any normal person should have at least blushed at that I mean that wasn't hardcore flirting with Potter but you certainly made it pretty obvious"   
Blaise sat up from the couch he had been laying on "Potter is gay you morons"   
Draco spun round to face Blaise so fast he almost fell over. "Whaat"   
"Didn't you know"  
"NO! How did you know"  
"Well I slept with Finnigan who has been on and off with Thomas who had a thing with Potter"  
"And you didn't tell us!"  
"You didn't ask"  
Pansy spoke up from behind Draco "Well that gives me a great idea. Why don't you flirt with him then Draco"  
"Whaat me. Noo way would that work"   
Blaise chimed in "No actually I think thats a great idea"  
"Fine"  
"Excellent. We start tomorrow"

 

Draco had been doing his utmost best to avoid Potter all day, but there he was, walking down the corridor towards them. Pansy nudged him forward whispering "Go on Draco, here is your chance"   
As Harry walked up to him Draco put on his best IHateYouPotter sneer and said "Potter, mind if I Slytherin to your Chamber of Secrets"   
And Success!  
Potters cheeks lit up like christmas lights, and he doubled his pace, firmly not looking at Draco  
Draco smirked at Pansy. 

It was the first time Draco had seen Potter since Draco had managed to fluster him and Draco was ready for round 2. As Potter walked up Draco called out Hagrid's not the only giant at Hogwarts if you know what I mean. But instead of looking embarrassed Potter instead said "Are you a snitch, cause you're the greatest catch here"   
Draco could feel his face heating up and he got out of there real quick. 

Draco had decided it was on. Potter was not going to beat him at his own game. "Hey Potter I don't need accio to make you come"   
Without blinking an eyelash Potter replied" Did you say Petrificus Totalus cause you're making me stiff"

Draco had asked Pansy for a list so he was ready to go for the next 5 or 6 encounters  
"Hey Potter, save a broom, ride a quidditch player"  
"Malfoy my house is called the shrieking shack for a reason if you catch my drift"

The "Malfoy Potter pick up line wars" as they were being called had become quite the sensation of the school, people had been suggesting lines, and celebrating when they got used.   
Draco had a great one from Pansy he was planning on using.   
"Potter, I don't need aguamenti to make you wet"  
"Did you just say Wingardium Leviosa Malfoy cause you've got me rising"   
A large group of people had gathered round hoping for more awful pick up lines, so Draco decided to oblige   
"You don't need to say incendio to light my fire"   
"Malfoy are you a nimbus 2000 cause you are sweeping me off my feet"  
"I must have had some felix felicis cause I'm about to get lucky"  
"If you think moaning myrtle moans wait until you spend a night with me"  
"Dang it" Draco scowled. "I can't remember any more"   
Potter laughed "Until next time then"  
Draco semi-grinned "Indeed"


	2. Unexpected Honesty

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The flirt off continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks so much to everyone who commented asking for a part 2. This is for all of you.   
> In particular Blu1999 for giving me a plot idea. Sorry its soooo late everyone but I hope you all find it and enjoy.

The whole school was pretty sure what was going on between Harry and Draco. The pick up lines changing from thinly veiled sexual innuendoes to pretty much full on compliments was pretty much the last straw. Pansy had no choice but to accept what had happened when Draco's planned "are you a bottle of Skele-Gro cause you are growing me a bone" was changed to "Did you survive the Avada Kedavra curse, cause you are drop dead gorgeous". She knew no matter how many times Draco protested it was to remind him 'his parents were dead' or 'the war happened' or whatever other excuse Draco tried to come up with. Pansy knew. Hermione of course had figured it out right at the start, but even Ron clicked when in response to Draco's compliment of a pick up line, instead of using Ron's cleverly thought out 'you don't need luminous maxima to turn me on' Harry countered with 'Your smile is like expelliarmus, simple but disarming' 

The school watched on in amusement as the pick up lines became less and less sexual. Harry and Draco had conversations that sounded more like they were dating, than trying to out flirt each other. Pansy was particularly horrified when Draco broke out 'You must be magical, because I've fallen under your spell'.   
Ron was just as unhappy when Harry decided 'Without you I'm in Azkaban and the dementors are sucking out my soul' was a good idea. 

While it was clear the rest of the school was desperate for them to get together, Pansy's Slytherin sensibilities (and perhaps her small crush on Draco) couldn't allow it to happen. She had built her reputation on despising Gryffindors and having the figureheads of both houses as a couple could bring about a Slytherin/Gryffindor unity that could threaten Pansy's place on the Slytherin hierarchy. Pansy had years of teaching from her parents, constantly drilling into her head the importance of being on top. Pansy loved Draco and wanted him happy, but she couldn't go against years of her parents teachings. They were her parents. They knew what was best for her. So Pansy sat Draco down and had a long long talk with him. It took a while as Pansy had to convince Draco that his pick up lines were terrible and too romantic, but Pansy was Pansy so she eventually succeeded. 

Draco and Harry crossed paths not long after this talk. Draco was determined. He had a pick up line ready that Pansy assured him was not romantic so there would be no mixed messages, so Draco was ready. But when Harry looked him straight (gay) in the eye and said "you can have the portkey too my heart" Draco's plans went straight (gay) out the window. Instead of Pansy's carefully crafted pick up line Draco blurted out 'That was really nice, kinda like you and you have nice hair, and pretty eyes, and you always laughed at my pick up lines, even when they were stupid and you had way better ones, and I'm sorry I was mean to you and your friends because you are really nice and didn't deserve it and what are you doing this Saturday because its a Hogsmede weekend and if you wanted to we could go?' all in one breath before falling silent as he tried to look like he wasn't desperately gasping for air. Silence hung over the group before Harry, who was looking anywhere but Draco, nodded and said "sure". 

No further plans were made, as Professor Flitwick came bustling round the corner, urging all of them to get to class, as they were going to be late. As Pansy observed Draco, and the smile he was trying, but failing to hide, she had to conclude that just maybe, this was the best outcome of them all.


End file.
